>Also feels like we're spending more time on the challenges than the characters.
I can see that, I just don't know how I should approach that. Let me know if you felt Shades got a bit more development with a bit more focus on her character in this half of the chapter, because I'm planning on doing something similar with Juggs in the next half as she accompanies him in the challenge. I also wonder how I can make a stoic character quite strong- I'm picturing her as being more cool and stoic. I think a lot of my characters over emote or hash a lot of stuff out for comedic effect, but I was thinking of having the opposite sort of character for her, and I worry that might come across as boring.

I guess I should phrase things this way: The way I've been looking at it is you start a character with a handful of traits, their personality, voice, archetype, etc., something that you can sort of latch on to identify them from the crowd. Then you come to develop or come to care about a character either as they accomplish more in the story, form attachments to the characters, or change in personality. But for this to be effective it needs to be slow. Contrast for instance Zuko coming to side with the good guys, vs. Sasuke rejoining the leaf village. Zuko's flip is good because it's slow, and it takes time for develop and we see him at several different stages of the journey, but Sasuke he just says 'I'm good now' and everyone is meant to go along with it.

>Sorry if I'm not the best at criticisms.
It's fine I enjoy the problem solving process. Only thing that would annoy me is if the criticism is dismissive and there's no interest in drilling down to what's going on under the hood.

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