Rejoice, my children. Your princess has returned to rock your world with a swingin' episode of the Horsebitch Hijinks. I've actually put months into this, and the smoothness of the galloping animations reflect it, in my opinion. Anyway kiddies, I missed all of you ugly little CHUDs, and it feels great to be home, delivering quality internet animation situational comedies to the masses!

I have a feeling you're gonna like this one a lot because I've been getting a lot of emails asking me what happened to Horsebitch and her friends after Jhonen Vasquez and Cyberen stole all her lottery money! Well, you asked for it, now you're gonna get it in this 6 and a half minute regular Horsebitch BONANZA!

Ready? Here we go!

Jessica Anne Churney-Strickland is the Horsebitch, a deadly mercenary formerly employed by the sinister Tennipples Industries. She was once the leader of the dreaded Horsebitch Cavalry, the aptly named Mr. Dr. Prof. Steeley Tennipples's elite band of equestrian femmes fatales!

For years, Horsebitch followed Cyberen Broyoshi - the bumbling antihero of the popular, "edutaining" animated series, The Cyberen Sillies - waiting for a moment to strike and kidnap poor Cyberen so that his body could be harvested into a doomsday device for the maniacal Prof. Tennipples.

Along the way, however, something unexpected happened: Horsebitch fell in love with Cyberen! She was then forced to play the role of a voluptuous double-agent, constantly staying one gallop ahead of both Cyberen and her insidiously evil employer, with the help of Susie, her wise-cracking horse!

After a final showdown with Cyberen, Tennipples was killed, raising the question: What has become of Horsebitch and her cavalry? What wacky situations will they get into adapting to normal, everyday life?

This is their story...

Episode 11: Life's a Horsebitch!

It is a dark time for the Horsebitch Cavalry. Cyberen and Jhonen Vasquez made off with their lottery money with the help of corrupt "New York banker type" Mordecai Moneystein. Horsebitch has to move out of MC Hammer's mansion, and back to the crumbling Boulderwood Stables.

After falling on such hard times, some of the girls go off to become dental hygienists while some sell apples and urine soaked cigarettes on the street corners. Horsebitch, now starving and barely 200 pounds, as a desperate last measure, transforms Boulderwood Stables into a brothel which Horsebitch becomes the madam of, with the remaining Cavalry Bitches turning tricks and stealing wallets. Is this the end of the Horsebitch Cavalry?

Not hardly, boys and girls. Because who should return to the scene of the crime, but Mordecai Moneystein with a fad wad of bills to spend on morbidly obese canadian assassins-turned-prostitu tes. Horsebitch uses the detective skills she picked up from a lupus-afflicted homeless man who believed himself to be TV's Kojak, and, before long, is hot on the trail of the blissfully unaware Cyberen and Jhonen Vasquez who have become connected at the anus via a piece of Invader Zim erotica.

What will happen when she finds the undynamic duo? Will the homeles gentleman's lupus get treated under Obamacare? Where is Mordecai Moneystein's secret gold? WATCH AND FIND OUT!

I love you guys even more than dietary fiber, which you should be sure to get plenty of in your diet (most Americans don't get enough!!!)!

The new season of the Cyberen Sillies is just around the bend, so get ready for plenty of debauchery and family fun with a positive moral message!

Goodnight folks <33333333

Love,
Princess Laucherella